When all things come to the end
by Rebecke xx
Summary: When lissa can't handle spirit anymore she end's her life, Rose can't live without her but what will she do to change the guardian world forever!
1. Chapter 1

I felt pain, pain so deep it vibrated through my whole body. Only after a few minutes did I realize this pain was not coming from me. That the blood that was on my hands and the small smile of triumph crossing over my lips as everything darkened wasn't me either. And the razor blade that my hands were cradling wasn't mine as well. But at that moment I knew who's it was and shock and fear ran through my own body as my mind was snapped back into reality.

I didn't even remember how I did it but the next thing I remember was running through the commons and people staring at me like I had finally gone crazy, like they all thought I would sooner or later. I felt small stabs of pain on my feet, only then realising I didn't even bother to put on shoes but I didn't care at the moment as I could feel half of myself slipping away. This only made me run even faster, I bounded past the matron of the dorm hearing her echoing shouts for me to slow down, but again that didn't matter all that mattered was her. When I got to the door I immediately tried the door handle, then noticing she would off obviously locked it, she wouldn't want people to interrupt her. With two massive bangs against the door and my shoulder screaming in agony, I was finally in the room. And there right in the middle was the most sickening sight I have ever seen. Lissa was surrounded in a pool of blood and I knew this time it had finally worked, this is what she had been blocking me out for all week. Lissa had killed herself and there was not even a try about it because I knew looking at her then, that she was nearly gone and one of the worst thoughts was I couldn't do anything to stop it happening. So I went to her and cradled her body to mine, not caring that her blood was soaking my top or that what I should have been doing is getting an adult, at that moment nothing mattered but her, because I know that I had to stay here. I wanted my face to be the one she left with, knowing that no matter what I would always love her. I heard her whimper something but failed to catch what she was saying, I leant down and strained my ears to here and managed to hear her last lines.

"I'm sorry rose I couldn't hold on any longer, if I didn't do this now, sooner or later the spirit would of, but so you know you will always be a sister to me and I never ever regret bringing you back from the car crash and if I did it again I would still pick you"

The last bit was more like a mumble but I could hear the words as clear as day. Then her body went slack in my arms and that was it. I knew it had ended, not just from seeing her but because it felt like I lost another part of me but unlike when Mason died, this was a huge hole, this would be a hole I would never be able to fill. But on top of that I felt a deep depression crushing me and I knew today Lissa hadn't only killed herself, she had killed me along with her.

I don't know how long I sat there still holding her to my chest before I heard shouting around me. But this time I didn't try and stop them from pulling me away from the dead person in my arms, I didn't try and protect the person I had sworn to protect for my whole life because now she was gone what was there to protect. I slowly looked up and saw faces swarming around me, I could see they all knew Lissa did this but I could also tell they were concerned why I wasn't talking, not even moving. This wasn't the Rose Hathaway who would fight until death; this was a dead Hathaway who was only here in body. This was until I saw Dimitri run into the room; I could see his eyes quickly assess the situation but there was a hidden look in his eyes, they were searching for something. That was when he saw me and he took in my entire body wondering why I was just sitting there and not fighting like I had with Mason, but then he looked into my eyes and I knew what he finally saw and that was nothing, no life, no fire and no spirit to live. He walked over to me and picked me up asking me questions but I blocked it all out. All I could hear was the faint hum of conversation everywhere but I didn't bother listen because what was the point.

Kirova said I could take the whole week of which I accepted, I don't remember accepting but I guess I did because I'm not in class right now. I knew people blamed me of the death of the last Dragomir, saying that she was scared that her life was in my hand and that I wasn't a good enough guardian so why risk her life when she thinks she's going to die anyway, when I'm around. But I knew most didn't but for once in my life I didn't care. The only reason I knew they said that was because Christian had given them third degree burns. He has become a sort of protector me since she died, making sure no one hurt me. He just didn't know that there was one person who he couldn't stop from hurting me. Me. I only went down to meals because either Dimitri or Christian would pull me down to the canteen, but I didn't eat and even if I did, in a few minutes I would throw it all back up so what was the point.

It's been a week since she died and the funerals tomorrow and I know that I won't be able to live without her. Not only because she was my sister but because I can't feel her anymore, all I feel is emptiness. So I decided that I couldn't go on any longer, Lissa was all I had left and without her I can't become a guardian, protecting someone I probably don't like and I know if I stay like this much longer I might turn Strigio by choice and then I would disrespect the memories of me for everyone. But I will write a last letter with one more wish and the feelings that I can't keep hidden any longer. So tomorrow will be a double funeral, for the last Dragomir and her sister, best friend and guardian Rose Hathaway.

I finish writing the letter and lay it on my pillow knowing someone hopefully Dimitri, will find it because I wanted this letter to change everything, I want it to change people's lives for the better, I want someone else to have what I couldn't have. So after my last depressing thought I pull out a stake I stole and get the aim to pierce my heart with it. I had been thinking of wear and how it would be best to kill myself and I finally settled on the heart because that was what had been broken over and over again and always did the most damage to someone, but also a stake to kill the monster I had become because maybe I wasn't Strigio but I had become a monster by hiding in the depression and pain. So I want to remember something happy, something that will make me do this, so I pick up a picture I had taken at the Ski lodge just before Mason died. In the picture was me, Lissa, Christian, Dimitri and Mason, in that picture I look so carefree and I wonder how my life had changed so much when in fact it has only been a few months. So here I go and do my last final act of bravery plunging the stake deep into my heart and twisting it to make sure there was no way of living. Slowly feeling my life slip away but this time it's mine not someone else's and the blood that is on my hands and the excruciating pain coming from deep inside me is mine.

And I know I said I would die with a happy memory but I know today that I died alone and that for once it doesn't feel so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

DPOV

We found her a few hours later, just like with Lissa drenched in a pool of her own blood. I think deep down I knew this was coming and I knew that she was deeply depressed, but I think I pushed it to the back of my mind and was waiting for her to make one of her witty comebacks or call me comrade one more time. But when I heard the news that they found Rose Hathaway with a stake in her heart, I knew that all my fantasies of her forgetting this or moving on were dead right along with her. When I walked into the room when Lissa had killed herself all I could think of was where's Rose, she must be here somewhere, shouting at someone. But when I saw her it broke my heart, but nothing could prepare me for what I saw in her eyes. In her eyes there was no pain, no sadness, no longing for someone to say this is a joke, Lissa's fine, everything's fine, because she knew it was over when she found her, just like I did when I found Rose sitting there. Life has always got the questions of what ifs? And they will always play on your mind and sometimes even make it seem like its real, and then it drags you out of the dream and gives you a harsh wake up call. Because sometimes I think of the what if's of that night, for example: what if Lissa hadn't killed herself? What if Rose had accepted this and moved on? But I knew these were the what if's and not the reality. I can't say I can ever truly imagine what Rose felt that day because in truth I can't, my best friend was killed but he wasn't like how Rose and Lissa were. But I can say I could see why she did it, because even in the end, even if Rose didn't know it herself, she was protecting Lissa and doing this for Lissa, even after she left Rose wanted to protect her, because they were sisters and I knew that Rose wouldn't be able to hold on much longer without her sister by her side.

Me and Christian had become protectors of Rose after that night, bringing her down for dinner or making sure no one said anything that might bring back memories of Lissa. Christian believed that she might be getting better as the week progressed, but they was still nothing in the eyes and with Rose if there was nothing in the eyes, there was nothing in the heart either.

I have always been told that fate has plans for people and so does destiny but I think for once in my life destiny and fate got it wrong, they weren't supposed to die. They weren't supposed to feel so desperate that they killed themselves. If I could have one wish it would bring Rose back, even if I saw her loving someone else it would mean she was back and she could live.

Once they had found Rose they immediately found me, asking me to come see something, like when I had found her in Lissa's room nothing would have prepared me, not even someone telling me she's dead because you know what, I wouldn't have believed them. I walked into the room and saw one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever seen. I didn't cry, I don't think I can ever cry for her lost life, but I think it might be because I knew she would hate if I did. I slowly walked towards the lifeless body strewn on the floor and peered down to see what she was holding and 5 smiling faces looked back at me. One of them was me and for once in that photo I saw no pain in my eyes for losing Ivan, I only saw joy for gaining Rose. I couldn't look at her anymore and turned towards the open window which showed the bright moon looking down on me, I felt like it was showing the sadness it felt for Rose as well, that was when I noticed the note fluttering on her pillow. It was a large envelope with no one's name written on the front. I carefully opened and saw Roses messing handwriting scrawled across the page and at the top in big bold letters was READ AT THE FUNERAL. So I stopped myself from looking at the rest of the page knowing the great depression that will come when I do but I will respect her last wish, because even though I didn't tell her often enough and didn't have the time to shout it from the rooftops, I loved her and even when she is 6ft underground, I will always remember her as the one who I will always love. Everyone else will just be a substitute of her.

I had zoned out about 15 minutes ago, for once not feeling the overwhelming peace I normally felt when in the church. It might be because the occasion was there funeral. Everyone thought it was best, seeing as though they died so close together and they were inseparable before, so why not now. I told Alberta that I wanted to make a speech at the funeral, she gave me a confused look but didn't question it. I wasn't really going to make a speech but just read out the letter Rose had wrote. I had kept myself from reading it all week, the letter lying heavily against the back pocket of my jeans. I was woken up from my daydreaming by someone nudging me, I looked to my left and I saw Christian telling me it was time to make my speech. I hadn't told anyone about the letter not even when I had found it, thinking it was better having it as a surprise or a curse, depending on what it said. Slowly I stood up and made my way to the podium of which Headmistress Kirova was just stepping down from. I turned to look out onto the hall of confused glances. Finally it was my turn to say something and they were going to listen no matter what.

"Hello everyone, I know that most of you are here for the Princess's side of the funeral rather than Roses, but that makes no difference. When I went to Roses room after hearing the news, I found a letter on her bed, I opened it and at the top it told me to read it at the funeral today, I haven't read it, so like you I don't know what it says."

I get it out of my pocket and take in a deep breath not knowing that what I say next will change guardians all around the world.

"Dear everyone, yes it's me the amazingly cool Rose Hathaway. You really didn't think you could get away from me that easily now, did you. Yep even from the grave I can crack a joke, I bet even now a smile is on your face just from hearing my name."

I look up and see that she's right most of the guardians and nearly all of the students have a smile on their lips; I take another deep breath and keep reading.

"So as you all probably know I'm dead, well I guess you have kind of worked that out seeing as though you're in a funeral service mourning about little old me, well its either that or you having a huge party to celebrate, I hope it's the first one.

Me and Lissa as you already know where like sisters, but I could say we were even closer than that seeing as we shared a bond. She saved me that day when her family all died in that car crash and I was supposed to as well, but she saved me by bringing me back. And when I found her that day, with the blood surrounding her, she told me she would do it all again if she could. Well that touched my heart, but when she died it felt like half of me had been ripped out and thrown to the dogs. All I could feel is emptiness. Now before that I was lined up as Lissa's guardian and I was lucky, I was nearly guaranteed to guard someone I loved and I didn't mind if I gave my life just so they could keep there's. Well most of you aren't that lucky, you are stuck with Moroi who are ungrateful, treat you badly and don't care if you die. Seeing you as replaceable. We lay down our lives for them and in return we are called blood whores and made to think our lives don't matter. Newsflash Moroi our lives do it matter, without us you would be dead. Would you like me to spell that out D-E-A-D. There you go even your tiny brains should be able to comprehend that.

This is a letter for the guardians who write now are lining the walls of the room protecting you, I bet half of you didn't even realise. I think I deserve one last wish don't you, so here it is, I want to declare war on the motto we have to live our lives by. They come first. No you don't. We are equal. So quit your jobs guardians because I bet half of you are thinking I don't want to be here right now. So do it, quit, stop the cycle continuing. What I want is for Dhampirs to be honoured just as much as royal Moroi when they die and be respected among the Moroi and not seen as things you can have because you can't, it's an honour for you to have us not an honour for us to protect you. So have a life guardians fall in love, have a career except for guarding or teaching, go into the world and think I'm free not I'm stuck with them.

In the laws it says guardians cannot have relationships with other guardians. Scrap that. I loved Dimitri Belikov and he's a Dhampirs. Don't be afraid to fall in love with each other because it's not a crime, it's just love and you can't stop that. Okay I'm going to wind this letter up, for once in my life I will say please, please guardians choose a different life do it now shout it as loud as you can, that you quit and be proud to do so. And fall in love with whoever you want because I did and I'm so glad I got to know the real meaning of true love. Thank you Dimitri. So I'm going to go now and unfortunately for you, yes especially you Stan I know your their silently crying, I'm going to stop talking and let you take action. Thank you for everyone who made my life great but mainly thank you to Lissa who just made my life happen.

Have a great life

Love Rose"

I stopped talking then and looked up to see a mixture of expressions, confusion, anger, sadness but most of all determination. Then the first person walked up to headmistress Kirova and said the words so many would repeat after him "I quit." Then it was like a chain, there were those two words coming from everywhere across the room. But the one that surprised me the most was the familiar voice, this voice surprisingly was mine. I said those two words and I knew I had given Rose what she wanted I could feel her smiling down at me. But I also knew she had given me one last present a silent gesture for me to live my life and start again because, she changed guardian's lives forever but mostly importantly she changed mine forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Well it's five years on now and as you can probably imagine I haven't moved on, well who could move on when I know that there's nothing I could move on to. I'm not married and I only tried dating once and that ended with me telling her how much I loved Rose and asking why she left me. Great conversation for a first date.

Back then the what if's hurt me, always made me cautious when doing anything, but now what does it matter hurts me even more. It tells me this every time I go to fight a Strigio, or when I'm trying to work out where I'm going to stay the night, because I've got kicked out of my apartment, because in the end I always think what does it matter? In the first few months after I quit being a guardian I walked around lonely like a ghost, I killed Strigio and got the marks for doing so, but after a while that question came back and I didn't want those marks anymore, they were for the glory and this certainly wasn't glory. I wondered at points if I was maybe Strigio because like them I craved blood, I craved the blood of the Strigio, to watch as I killed them and see the light die in their eyes. I remember Rose telling a Moroi kid who asked about her marks, telling her it was amazing and could he see them, I even remember the disgust on her face as he said this, I even remember the words she spoke afterwards,

"I don't do this for the glory of killing, this is not something to be proud of, I made a sacrifice that day to do this and if ever I could, I would take them back."

I can still remember the letter clear as day, can even read it in my mind, imagining the messy writing scrawled across the page, the few dried wet patches were at the points were either I had cried whilst reading it or she cried whilst writing it, I don't think I could tell the difference anymore but what does it matter. I ask that question to myself nearly every day now, what does it matter? When I read that letter that day I couldn't even imagine what would happen, Rose got her wish that day because she did change our lives. Nearly all Dhampirs quit after that day saying they couldn't stand working for the Moroi any longer. I quit that day but no for the same reason, I know a lot of Dhampirs die but I couldn't stand and watch and act like losing Rose changed nothing, because it did.

They appointed a Dhampir queen now to run alongside the Moroi one, they both work together but mainly rule over there people, but when I see them in the news papers or telling everyone the news about what's happening next. I notice that something is wrong, the Moroi queen doesn't have the kindness that Lissa did and the Dhampir queen doesn't have the fire Rose did. So as you can probably tell I didn't get over the death as well as I should have. Christian moved on and found a new girlfriend and later married her, but even on his wedding day I could see the same thing he saw, that wasn't suppose to be a Zelkos coming up the isle in the white wedding dress, this was supposed to be Lissa Dragomir coming up the isle in the white wedding dress.

I don't want to sound depressive because that was never my intention, but I realised a long time ago that even though she changed my life forever, she changed it long before she even died and now she changed it for the worse because I can't move on. I don't think I even want to move on, so I decided that this was it, this was the last time I would look round my depressing apartment, I had never realized until now that I had no personal belongings round the apartment, I couldn't even call it home, it was more of a place to watch the world go by without you. I am doing this for me and for Rose, I don't want to live without her just like Rose couldn't live without Lissa so I pick up the knife and quickly make two deep cuts in both wrists and lay back on the bed with my last thought always about Rose "I'm coming my love I won't ever leave you again."

**Authors note: first of all I would like to say a huge huge thank you to Princess Stefany because you were my first review and made me think I didn't spend the whole day do nothing, so thanks ever so much. Okay so that's my story done but I have written a different ending where Dimitri doesn't kill himself which I could make into more of a story and carry on with, I won't do the whole, if I have 5 reviews ill do it because that's stupid so I just want one review just so I know if I should or not. Thank you for reading this it's nice to know I'm not the only one who reads these stories. Love Becky xxx**


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